Finding contentment while striving for more

You are exactly where you are meant to be. I have a little sticker of this phrase stuck on the cover on my journal – and I had one on my previous journal too. It’s one of the sayings that almost never fail to comfort me and make me feel a wave of hope: Right now, no matter what is going on in your life, you can believe that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

So far in my life, this hasn’t been proven wrong, and that gives it an added layer of credibility in my mind. It makes it easier to internalize that every challenge is temporary. I’ve turned to this saying in times of volatility and confusion: it’s fine, you’re meant to be here right now; there’s a lesson or a crucial experience to be gained through this. I think that being able to find comfort in that assumption requires a level of optimism, and a willingness to take things slow and trust the process. There’s two parts to this that are interesting to me: finding contentment, while striving for more.

Being present is something we can learn and cultivate, and the more we do that, the easier it is to be content. Being content with where you are is a result of existing more actively in the present than in the past or future – most of us struggle with that. When anxiety about things that have or haven’t happened occurs, it draws us away from the present moment into another time. It takes us away from contentment with what is, and drives us deeper into what could one day be. Teaching yourself to find contentment and appreciate that there is value in where you are right now is essential for a happy life. In many ways, it keeps you living day by day; you can’t control everything, and you shouldn’t try (that never ends well). Whatever happens tomorrow, you will deal with tomorrow. Your job now is to deal with what’s happening today. That’s what the reminder that you are exactly where you are meant to be means to me. Everything will make sense little by little, it doesn’t have to all make sense right now.

But does finding contentment with what is, keep us at a standstill? Keep us stuck? When I published my essay on absurdism and finding meaning in the present moment, my dad (hi dad) called me to say he read it and liked it especially because he perceived an important balance between my ability to be content in the present, and my consistent drive. I didn’t fully grasp what he meant then, but I do now. The two sides of myself definitely clash at times, as they do for everyone: inspiration strikes, but you have to let the momentum fade because something else you have to do is calling. You spend a week of feeling alive with friends, loved ones, traveling, fully living, only to then have to crash back into reality and deal with the mundane everyday things that definitely don’t feel like ‘living in the present moment’. Life makes us oscillate between the two; too much on either side and we get lost, either forgetting about our goals, or ceasing to fully live.

Another one of my favorite reminders is that you owe yourself a life well lived, because no one else is going to build that for you. To achieve that, you need to find that difficult but important balance: contentment in the present while still striving for what you want. Too much comfort in the present can lead to inertia, and that’s where simply trusting the process and feeling content won’t take us far: it will breed inaction and prevent necessary change. Paying attention to fears, doubts, and anxieties is important because they’re sometimes signals of something that could be addressed. Suppressing them for the sake of living in the present and only paying attention to what is happening right now is a slippery slope. Some ways this manifests in your everyday life can be: dragging on a career that’s wrong for you; staying in an unfulfilling relationship; overprioritizing momentary pleasures over discipline.

Taking action to create change, to give yourself the life that you want, will usually be uncomfortable. I take “you are exactly where you are meant to be” to highlight the value that exists in that discomfort, and the temporary nature of it all. Every time I look back, it proves right. Not taking action now will still create discomfort, only further down the line. This is what my dad meant: it’s hard to keep driving yourself to take the necessary action needed to build the life you want, when you also easily find joy and meaning in the present (it’s easier to take such action if you’re always plagued by anxiety – see the correlation?). I look at the sticker on my journal whenever the discomfort takes first place, whenever it feels like I’m sacrificing temporary peace for positive change: this is where you’re meant to be, there’s meaning in this too, even if you can’t see it right now. I’ve learned to trust the process because I can always spot the meaning retroactively once something has passed. You can grow and learn something from everything if you keep your eyes and mind open.

My takeaway: Learning to live day by day and find contentment in the present will contribute so much happiness and peace to your life. Don’t miss out on present experiences because your mind is elsewhere. But at the same time, don’t neglect building the type of life you want because you fear discomfort, looking into the future, or confronting change. There’s great growth and value in those moments – you can find peace in that too.