how to be lucky

increasing the surface area for serendipity

Many great and big things boil down to serendipity: unplanned, fortunate events and discoveries that can have a greater impact in your life than you imagine in the moment.

Some of my most transformative growth experiences have come from meeting a random person somewhere unexpected, where I almost decided I wouldn’t go. Some of the greatest opportunities have come from putting something out there on a whim and forgetting about it.

You can’t intentionally create serendipity, but you can increase the surface area and likelihood that it will, hopefully, occur.

There’s a concept called conditions for emergence: it’s the idea that if you want something to happen that you can’t control, you can create the conditions that will make it as likely as possible. You can’t make yourself fall asleep, but you can avoid looking at your phone before bed, drink chamomile tea, turn off the lights, etc: the conditions for emergence.

So what are the conditions for the emergence of luck and serendipity?

Looking back I can spot times where I was on the verge of a decision that ended up being a much, much more impactful one than I could imagine in the moment. A trip I half-heartedly agreed to go on that changed my life completely for the better in an unexpected way; a business that started by watching a random YouTube video when I had nothing to do; a person I decided to speak to even though I normally wouldn’t have, that ended up being a huge part of my life - and so on. Tons of these moments, that I can trace so much back to! These examples are everywhere in my life, and yours, but we rarely consciously recognize how they came to be.

Increasing the possibility that good things will happen unexpectedly seems to me to be broken down between two few different branches: people and expression.

the people branch

Connections drive everything. The more people you meet, the greater the likelihood that opportunities will find you. If you value self-actualization and constant learning and growing, I see these as inherently interlinked.

I know that the most transformative growth in my life so far has come through relationships with other people. Although of course none of it is possible without self-awareness and maybe being the kind of person that’s a little too prone to overthinking and introspecting, I do believe that some of our deepest growth comes from human connection. It pushes us to confront ourselves more directly. That’s why when exploring the self, we often do so through the lens of relationships.

When we hear clichés about the importance of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, that’s how it translates in my mind. Anything out of your comfort zone is an immediate chance to increase serendipity; you never know who you’ll meet, what conversation you’ll have, what will happen. I love getting positively surprised by chance encounters or opportunities I never saw coming, because they show me in the most tangible way possible how wonderful it is to say yes to things and expose yourself to a higher chance of great new things happening.

I also believe, in a bit of a spiritual way, that life will send something your way when you need it. Some of the most transformative lessons come disguised as people. I love learning more about myself and life, and I value experiences that teach me to be wiser, to love myself more, or that enrich the tapestry of my life in some way.

the expression branch

You’ve heard this one before, I bet: The more ‘loudly’ yourself you are, the more you’ll attract the right people and opportunities into your life. It’s part of why writing on the internet is so impactful. The more you express yourself and your unique voice and perspective publicly, the more you increase the surface area for serendipity in your life.

For many of us, one of the biggest lessons we can learn is how to unapologetically express ourselves without fear of judgement and perfectionism. Trust me, someone out there will hear what you have to say and relate more than you imagine. Someone following a somewhat similar journey to yours, will find your words life changing because it’s what they needed to hear in that moment.

That’s why I think that this was the most popular Substack post I’ve ever made, because it highlights how great writing starts with vulnerability. As hard as it is to express yourself vulnerably and authentically, I think it’s only so difficult because it’s so important.

the vulnerable internet it-girl

I’ve come to value self-expression for its own sake without overthinking it (too much), because I feel that ultimately it will lead to beautiful things I can’t yet see coming. In many ways it already has.

Allowing self-expression is a favour to yourself. It’s one of the best ways to increase the chance of serendipity occurring, broadcasting your energy and perspective out in the world so that the things that are meant to find you, can find you— like a lighthouse.

I remind myself of this often, whenever I agree to do something that later I decide I’m not feeling anymore. It’s actually funny how many times this has happened in the past, only for me to push myself to go/do the thing anyway, and then it turning out to be a life-changing experience. One of the rules I have for myself that I try to follow (emphasis on try), is: always say yes to situations that will lead to meeting many new people or doing new things. I think it’s one of the ways to intentionally make yourself luckier. Who doesn’t want that?

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